Weekly weigh-in

It looks like it's been awhile since I've posted, actually I wrote the other day but I deleted it because it was whiny. Anyway, this week has been a bit more challenging because I haven't been feeling at my optimal best. I'm at that lovely peri-menopause age/stage and the effects are manifesting in my mind and body. Heart palpitations, headaches, anxiety and my favorite, bloating. Plus it's PMS time. UGH. I guess you could call this whining too but actually it's more of a disclaimer...or...okay...an excuse. All right, I'll get to it. I gained (boo hoo) two pounds. This is why I always give up. I get on a roll and then PMS comes around and makes me eat chocolate (yes the PMS twists my arms) and bloat and gain weight! 

This time will be different though because I have my blog and you. My positive, rational brain tells me this is temporary water weight and no reason to give up. Keep on eating healthy foods and drink lots of water to wash out the bloat (even though to me it seems like it would make me bloat more). This is not a diet. I am going to eat as healthy as I can most of the time to be a healthier and hopefully, a fitter, thinner person. 

What do you do when PMS twists your arms and makes you eat pizza, chips or chocolate?

Five Down

Did you think I forgot to weigh-in on Friday? I did get on the scale but never got a chance to post!! So here is the good news...I lost 4 pounds!!! Happy dance!! Happy dance!!! When the scale shows a loss it is so motivating, exciting and freaking awesome!! For me it makes me want to eat right and exercise even more. Unfortunately though, the feeling fades and I fall into the ice cream and pizza pit. But so far not yet. Yeah, it's only been one day but that's how I've got to do this, one day at a time, like they do in the twelve steps for AA. Food is my addiction. 


Went and bought some healthy foods today, especially snacks since that's been my biggest hurdle so far. One of my blog's readers recommended to me that I get some 90 calorie granola bars and Weight Watchers ice cream. (Thank you C!!) Target had some great 100-calorie snack pack of mixed nuts and some raspberry chocolate granola bars. Plus some Weight Watchers chocolate ice cream bars. 

Tonight, my daughter and her friend made spaghetti and sauce. I made a spaghetti squash that was delicious and so light. I avoid pasta and other white flour foods because I may have a gluten sensitivity. Sometimes I eat it but then I break out in a rash. Thank God it goes away quickly though... most of the time. A lot of women as they enter their 40s and 50s experience some form of gluten and dairy sensitivities so take note if you notice skin rashes, bloating or fatigue after eating.

Five pounds down since I started this blog. I like having to report to someone-or some place. Even if only a few people read this, it helps me to share and I hope it helps someone else. 


Five pounds-95 to go!! 


What keeps you motivated?

Soul Snacks

Okay last night I gave in to a cookie. Well, Two cookies. And you know the damnedest thing? I didn't even enjoy them!! So this morning I woke up feeling gross, guilty and...motivated. Since I slept in a little late,  I got up rearing to go, put on my sweats and ran to the treadmill and walked for 20 minutes, biked for 10 and did weight training and floor exercises for another 20!! If I had all day I would exercise more. I do like it. I really do!!

Had to work again tonight and realized that I do like something to snack on when I get home. A cup of tea doesn't cut it. Usually I'm looking for something sweet, a comfort food like cookies or cake or ice cream. What are good substitutes for those? I know it's best not to eat after 8 p.m. and will work towards that goal but after work, tired, yet, an insomniac, food feeds my heart, soul and tummy and eases me into a comfortable space.

I would love to know what your favorite night time snacks are that feed your soul and tummy but without a lot of calories.

Tired and Tempted

I just got home from a 13-hour day at work and all I want to do is ease into my jammies, melt into the couch and have tea and cookies. Way too tired for a late treadmill walk and my brain has not shut off enough for me to get to sleep anytime soon. I dvred American Idol and while I watch I want to enjoy a cup of tea and dunk some nice sugar cookies into it since my sister visited today and left some in my cabinet. I wish someone was reading this right now and could talk me out of it. Going to make the tea...

Ok I have my tea, I'm sitting here writing my blog trying to avoid the sugar coated temptation. The cookies are on the counter calling my name. I can't resist. I am weak. One cookie. Just one.

A message I try to remember and practice daily

A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne
Creator of The Secret

From The Secret Daily Teachings Begin your day by feeling grateful. Be grateful for the bed you just slept in, the roof over your head, the carpet or floor under your feet, the running water, the soap, your shower, your toothbrush, your clothes, your shoes, the refrigerator that keeps your food cold, the car that you drive, your job, your friends. Be grateful for the stores that make it so easy to buy the things you need, the restaurants, the utilities, services, and electrical appliances that make your life effortless. Be grateful for the magazines and the books that you read. Be grateful for the chair that you sit on, and the pavement that you walk on. Be grateful for the weather, the sun, the sky, the birds, the trees, the grass, the rain, and the flowers.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret... bringing joy to billions

Why can't I stop?

So...just got home from a great night out socializing having a good time with good friends. Friends, fun and food. What's better than that? There was so much delicious homemade food and I couldn't stop eating. Why can't I have one piece of something? Why do I have to eat seconds? The whole time I'm sitting there picking on the appetizers and taking bite after bite when my stomach felt full. It continued with multiple servings of mac and cheese, potato salad and sweet and sour meatballs. I swear I could feel the fat growing in my cells with each bite. But it didn't stop there, I had to have two carrot cake cupcakes, several chocolate chip bars and two small chocolate martinis. WHY? WHY? WHY? Am I a glutton for punishment or just a glutton?

I ate only one meal today because of these plans and we always have a smorgasboard of delish food. This after-gathering guilt is a regular occurrence. I purposely wore sweat pants because usually my pants start to cut in on my waist and make it painful so in a way I sabotaged myself because I knew I was going to let myself eat aimlessly and foolishly.  I'm an intelligent person. I know eating like this will cause weight gain and girth guilt but I do it anyway. What is the block? Why don't I have self-control, willpower or a conscience? Will I ever learn not to overeat, especially at parties, events and restaurants? Once I figure out the block maybe I can learn.


Do you have willpower or self-control with food? Or was it something you learned? I'd love advice or ideas!

Weigh-in and shopping

Friday is my weigh-in day. Every savvy dieter knows to weigh in on Friday so you can enjoy the weekend if you know what I mean, wink wink. Weekends are notorious for being high risk eating days. Weighing in on Monday mornings could act as a motivation to not overindulge, however for now, Fridays feel safer, less stressful. Today is the first official weigh-in since I started the blog this week so drumroll please......I lost one pound in four days! I'll take it. I like picturing that a pound of butter just melted off my hips.

My grocery budget is limited right now but I went grocery shopping today and got all the healthy foods my nutritionist suggested, greens, beans, brown rice, fresh veggies, polenta, chicken, eggs, garlic, nuts and frozen fruits and veggies. I won't bore you with what I eat everyday but wanted to share the healthy food grocery list...ingredients for delicious, satisfying meals. I feel lighter already just buying those foods. Actually, the woman (mother of my daughter's friend) bagging our groceries at the store commented, "Wow you guys eat healthy." Smiling, I said, "We try." A conversation sparked about how costly it is to eat healthy and the cashier said if healthy foods cost less than potato chips and soda, a lot more people would eat healthier. So True!

My daughter went shopping with me and even her choices of snacks were relatively healthy. She picked out hummus, pickles, cheez-its, deli chicken and cheese. We also bought Edys ice cream with half the fat and it was on sale 2 for 1 so I will admit that I bought sugarfree moosetracks. Ice cream is my downfall but it's only 110 calories, 16 grams of carbs and 3 grams of protein!! Hey it was a free half gallon and I could have bought the Thin Mints ice cream instead but I didn't!!

One pound down and 99 to go!

How do you budget for groceries? Any special tips or stores with great sales?

 

Always an excuse or reason

Day after my birthday. Plan included getting back to healthy eating. OOPS. Cupboard and fridge are bare. And payday is Friday so slim pickin's create a bit of a challenge to eat well. Black tea and crackers for breakfast is better than the Chips Ahoy and tea I ate for breakfast as a teenager. Not optimal I know but we do with what we have.

While on my break at work eating a Greek pomegranate yogurt, a person, who asked not to be named (;-b), gifted me with a sinful dark chocolate and raspberry cake and suggested I start tomorrow. My eyes glazed over the chocolate glaze and in that hypnotic state I ate half the cake ( which was about the size of a extra-large cupcake and extra delicious) and I took the rest home with hopes that my daughter would eat it. Alas, I ended up eating the rest tonight but I did eat a healthy dinner. Balance is key. Hey it's my birthday...week.

Willpower is a muscle I need to develop. What weights do I have to lift to build up that muscle? I'll be honest I want to be able to enjoy all kinds of food. Most healthy programs advise not making any foods off limits because it makes you want it more. Moderation is a practice I need to practice. No seconds, no nightly dessert, no snacking.

Of course, exercise is another component. Thankfully, my cousins gave me their treadmill and exercise bike and I've used them more than a few times and not just for hanging up my sweaters. I'm working my way up to a half hour or a mile. Twenty minutes has been my average and since I am walking at a 1.8-2.0 pace I only get about 3/4 of a mile. I miss boot camp (see that blog at gut-instincts.blogspot.com). I claim no time but I have time to watch TV, read FB statuses and blog. Is 11:30 p.m.too late to jump on and walk 10 minutes? Heading to the treadmill-I'm a night person so maybe it will help me sleep better?


no more excuses!

How do you practice willpower and moderation? What excuses do you use?

This is the year-it has to be the year!

I turned 49 yesterday, 2/22/10. And I'm 234 pounds. Still. More than 100 pounds overweight. Happy Birthday to me!!


By blogging about this, and sharing it with you, I can't hide. This is my truth. Fat, broke and lonely. Not saying that for sympathy by any means. Just putting it out there and out of my head. Somehow they're all connected and by blogging maybe I'll discover what that unifying little sucker is.


100 pounds by 50 is doable in a year. Geez, they lose 100 pounds in 8 weeks on the Biggest Loser. But unfortunately I'm not on the Biggest Loser and I haven't figured out a way to make a living by losing weight. I would love to make losing weight and getting fit, healthy and happy my full-time job. Anyone hiring?


Honestly, though, my blood sugar jumps higher than my cat does when there's a steak on the stove and my blood pressure screams louder than my daughter's new speakers. No joke. I'm looking forward to 50 and starting my second life as a single woman, not just the single mom of three children, who can do whatever she wants whenever she wants. Is that a reason to get my act and my health together or what? In 2011 I'm gonna party like it's 1983!!


So why do I continue to abuse my body with food? Why am I playing Bejeweled Blitz or eating ice cream or cookies while watching the Biggest Loser? I've been on more diets than Oprah so I know how to do it so why aren't I? What is the block to my skinny self?


Oh, and by the way, I will consider having my stomach made into the size of a walnut shell if I don't lose 50 pounds in six months. That way I will be sure to lose the 100 by 50.


Would love feedback, advice, your own weight story, or a simple hello, get off your ass, comment.